Upon Further Review

So,
I just saw “Takers”
I’ll start by saying, In heist movies, one major (unspoken) rule is, You have to come up with your own heist!!!
Takers does not follow this rule.
One of my favorite heist movies is The Italian Job (The New One)
It has one of the best heist I’ve ever seen.
Takers, steals that heist! (irony)
You can’t do that!
One of the characters actually says the phrase, “We’re going to pull an Italian Job…”
So the writers can’t even claim ignorance.
It’s shameless.
The strange thing is, that’s not my biggest problem with the movie.
Every heist movie has two heist.
The one the team does in the beginning.
and the “big” one they pull in the end.
But the first one is just blatantly luck.
Basically the team robs a bank located in a taller building.
When a news chopper hears of the heist they immediately set course to that location.
When they get close enough Darth Vader Himself is waiting on the roof near the heli-pad and waves them to land.
When they do, He hijacks the chopper and He and the team fly away to safety.
One problem.
Your planning a heist, where you are faced with the possibility of prison time and you plan everything so intricately, but you leave your GET AWAY to something of pure HAPPENSTANCE!!?
That could of easily just have not happened.
This film was all about style and zero execution.
I will say, Chris Brown’s chase scene was spectacular.

They say never judge a book by its cover. Its good that no one believes that or we’d end up with books bound like The Bible. Whoever said that couldn’t of possible thought the same for movies.
I can not stand most of the covers for movies. I think the floating heads thing is just ridiculous.
But it seems that the majority of people prefer their covers to look like they’re are exploding.
I don’t understand this.
I think film studios need to understand that a cover is ART! And it needs to be treated as such.
Throughout history the best/most famous art has consisted of one thing… Calmness.
The best covers offer a picture that is not busy, its calm and bold.
They put millions of dollars into marketing for other products. Like pepsi and oreos.
You need to market your movies as well.
Top 5 Best covers.
5. Fight Club: Just a bar of pink soap reading “Fight Club” of course.
4. Me and You and everyone We know: The cast in a circle with the two main characters in th middle. The best part is the font
3. The King’s Speech: Just a Lonely Microphone
2. Precious: Just Precious standing with an off white background
1. Full Metal Jacket: just a helmet reading, “Born To Kill” it said so much without saying hardly anything.

Note: please add more and debate me on this!

My point is, covers work

Which brings me to this:
About 5 years ago while in a movie store, I saw the cover for a movie that immediately made me love this movie.
The Name, “Me and You and Everyone We Know”
At the time I didn’t have the money so I didn’t rent it.
But I obsessed about this movie, because the cover and the name just spoke to me. And like most things I eventually forgot about it.
Then two years later I encountered a band by the same name(great band btw) and again I obsessed until I forgot.
But last week while browsing through netflix, I saw it again, for instant streaming.
And just as I hoped and expected this movie was incredible. There was an artistic subtlety to the film that turns you into a kid again. You remember to appreciated the way people are and they way there brains operate. It has some stellar lines and promotes some interesting ideas.
Give it a try, if you like it just call me and say, “Macaroni!”

I have to prelude this by saying, I am not one of those people who hates something because it is popular or because I’ll be judged differently if I like something, my mind can be changed very easily. Now,
I have seen The Hangover about 8 times, the first time I saw it I thought it was, “Ugh(shrugs shoulders) I’ll need to see it again.” Then the reviews poured in, people were saying that this was quite possibly the best comedy ever. I said, “Ok, I definitely need to see it again.” So I did, and I still couldn’t see how it was so great. Don’t get me wrong, I laughed, even out loud, but nothing really jumped out at me to set this as a comedy staple. I’m not one of those people who think that the best season of Snl has already passed, nor do I think that all comedy stops with, Animal House. The Hangover wasn’t that great! I’ve been a comedian for about 5 years, I’ve done stand-up, and I’ve even written comedic scripts and shorts you can find on youtube. I know comedy! But the movie fell short of a lot of things, nothing in that movie is something I’d not seen before, I thought the Mike Tyson cameo seemed gimmicky. Mainly because the only thing He did that was ironic was like Phil Collins. There were some great lines, all delivered by Zach Galafanakis (spelling is wrong I’m sure, but I can’t google it at the moment because I can only open one page on my phone) but please do not tell me that Ken Jong was funny, that scene was odd and displaced. I’m not saying it was a bad movie, it just wasn’t a good one.
Now,
Onto the main event, I just saw Due Date,
I was excited to see it and had a free rental through Vudu(great idea btw)
I was just a bit disappointed, I kept waiting for the funny to come, but it didn’t. I went into this movie knowing how Todd phillips directs, he likes to shoot down his own jokes, it seems like every joke that could explode into something is quickly followed up by drama, and GOOD drama! I battled between liking the characters and their vulnerability and laughing at the crazy things they were saying. I’ll be specific without spoiling anything.
There is a scene in which the two main characters are sleeping in the car and Evan(Zach G.) Is masturbating, this could have been an outstanding scene for comedy, you could of played off of the awkwardness, but instead Robert Downy Jr seems annoyed but even more awkwardly passive about the situation. One comedy rule that Todd Phillips forgets in His comedies is, “It’s not just funny that something is happening, it’s the reaction that really nails it down.”
Ok, one more example before I go to bed.
There is a scene in which Jamie Fox mistakenly makes a pot of coffee using Evan’s recently deceased fathers ashes as grounds. When Evan learns of this He starts gaging and hacking and runs to the coffee pot returning the ashes from the coffee filter back into the can. While the audience is still waiting for the comedy to peak, Evan drops the can and starts sobbing(not in a funny way either). The problem with this scene is just that while the audience is preparing for a comedic moment to peak the joke is gone, then we think, “Well, at least I’ll know when to laugh next time.” And then next time its not as funny, so the joke dies all together.
Review:
The Hangover – C+
Due Date – B+ (For Displaced Drama)

So I just watched the indie film “Timer” on netflix(instant streaming fyi) and I’ve gotta say, I am impressed! In a world with diminishing story lines, Timer creates a world in which almost everyone has a “timer.” Its a small plastic device that is implanted into your wrist, it has a small LED display that is a countdown to the day you meet your soulmate. Una, has a blank timer, which means that her soulmate hasn’t had a timer installed yet, she meets a grocery store clerk with 4 months left on his timer, and He challenges her to forget the timer and stop waiting.
On top of a great story line, the music in the film is just as good, Truck-Beef(the band Mikey is in) is outstanding, we hear some sufjan stevens, and some iron and wine. Check it out.

True Grit was a fantastic novel written in 1968.
It was adapted to a screenplay in 1969. The movie starred John Wayne.
Now that doesn’t mean much to you, but the movie is one of the best westerns ever made.
The movie borders on existential at times when it brings up points on revenge, aging, and a young girls manipulation.
Now, that alone would get us excited, but the movie is being remade and it will be directed by the Coen brothers, joel and Ethen Coen.
Why is that a big deal?
The Coen brothers have directed some of the best films of all time.
Blood Simple
Fargo
No Country For Old Men
Just to name a few, now these movies are amazing based on the way the brothers can take something simple and make it jaw-dropping.
The idea of such a timeless incredible story being directed by the pair is enough to make a grown man giddy.
Especially me.

Yes, Broken Bells, the collaboration between Danger Mouse and James Mercer of The Shins,
Now this album flows in one ear and out the other in the sense that when your finished it feels like you dreamed the whole thing. It wins as an album and the singles stand on their own. If you’re looking for something to listen to while working this self titled debut is perfect. Key tracks: Citizen and Float

As some of you may know, the legacy that was County Market in Pekin is now gone, and bought up by The Food Depot. Name aside, I went in this evening to check out the new updates of the store. The isles are spaced further apart, kinda unnecessary. The layout makes shoppers look more like lions picking apart a zebra carcass, and you can tell the employees are just as confused as the shoppers. But the biggest problem is the bathroom. now, to be honest I am a bathroom connoisseur. I am not one of those people who would rather be at home, in a public restroom you can tell them to clean it, you have unlimited TP, free soap, and there’s no one knocking on the door telling you about new mascara. But what really is wrong with The Food Depot is the bathroom. First of all, its in the very back of the store, its through a door you feel like you shouldn’t open, and it is ONE stall and ONE urinal! The worst thing is when you are in the stall, the crack between you and the outside of the stall leaves nothing to the imagination. And they actually downgraded from 3 stalls and 3 urinals.
Oops! Gotta go, there’s a line forming.
See ya
JD

If you couldn’t detect the sarcasm, then you should know, this station’s is about as professional as mooby’s in clerks 2. Although cinematicly funny, it’s not as funny in real life. I’m a young guy so when I first noticed the unprofessional ways of this store I thought it was just that these young pierced guys behind the counter were just comfortable with me, but when I went in the same store with my father, one of the clerks faked out my dad when handing him the change. Once is ok, but this guy basically pretended to hand my dad his change and then pulled his hand away 6 times! This station is run by complete assholes! If they’re not giggling at you as if you have something wrong with your face, they’re pushing each other into fixtures and counters. I can’t stand this gas station. Go see for yourself.

McDonalds
1017 W Main St, Peoria, IL 61606
Peoria, Illinois
Business phone: (309) 671-1017

2/5 stars

I’m am not reviewing the food. It is what it is. Although, a couple weeks ago, I did have to wait to get some french fries that were rock-solid cold.

Yesterday, I woke up early because I went to bed a few hours earlier than I usually do. Since I had all this free time, I thought I’d stop at McDonalds for a cup of coffee, a biscuit and a leisurely read of the morning newspaper.

I pulled into the parking lot, walked up to the door and … locked. More than a bit perturbed, I drove up to the drive through ordering screen and was promptly told that they were closed. This was at 8 a.m.

I got my morning fast food fix at the McDonald’s on Western. I waiting in line behind the guy who drove the car I saw leaving the lot on West Main.

It gets worse. Later that day, I drove home from work and decided to get a burger and an iced tea. I walked inside and stood at the counter. For five minutes. Standing next to me was a lady who was coming in to complain about the raw sandwich she got in the drive through. When the manager came to the counter to take my order, I started to complain about the wait, but he had such a sad, defeated look on his face, I knew that he knew that the service was lousy.

Two lessons:

1. Stick to locally-owned restaurants. And if the city of Peoria were any friendlier to locally owned restaurants, we’d probably have more of them.

2. If you don’t have the time to patronize a nice sit down joint and have to do the fast-food thing, do NOT visit the McDonald’s on the corner of West Main and Bourland.

NOTE TO READERS: I am certainly not the only person who reads Blog Peoria Project blogs and has an opinion of two about food, music, books and movies. Please, contact me if you want to write a review.

Host: ci|creative
Type: Music/Arts – Jam Session
Date: Saturday, August 22, 2009
Time: 10:00am – 4:00pm
Location: ci|creative(space) at the Shoppes at Grand Prairie
Street: directly in front of the Holocaust Memorial and Charlotte Russe
City/Town: Peoria, IL